Much happened over the course of my sophomore and junior years in college. I experienced more physical pain and endured more surgeries, each leading to another missed season of running. During this dark time, I was professing to be a follower of Jesus active in things like FCA, leading Bible study, and going to church, but I wasn't living a God-honoring life. In God's complete sovereignty and love for me, He continued to tend the seeds that were planted in my mind and heart by placing believers in my life.
I moved in with four other very godly women my junior year and started to get mentored by Lindsey Eastman, FCA Collegiate Area Director, who serves Augustana University. God used these friends and this FCA mentor to speak truth into my life, slowly making me aware that I was living in disobedience to God and His Word. I can vividly recall the afternoon I spent with a roommate who took time to plant more seeds in my life and in doing so impacted me in such a beautiful way.
"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." Ezekiel 36: 25-27
These women did not excuse or gloss over my sin but reminded me of Gospel truths and helped bring me to my knees before our Holy God.
God's love was so great for me that He left proof of His faithfulness all over my life. Even when my heart wasn't postured to see or feel that He was working, God was faithful. God's Word shares countless examples of His faithfulness generation after generation. We can trust that His Word is true and that He is working even when we don't see it.
My coaches at Augustana allowed me to keep my scholarship even once they realized I would never contribute a single thing running-wise to the team. They allowed me space on the team to start ministering to teammates as they walked through injury or other hardships ultimately letting me remain part of a cross-country family that served as my mission field.
It can feel cruel of God to not give us what we want, but what is best for us is to be conformed to the image of Christ. God knew that what I needed would never be found in a national title or championship. He knew this desire of mine was driven by pride, idolatry, and selfishness. God truly did shake up the kingdom I was trying to build for myself and in His sovereignty used my injuries and the people closest to me to water the seeds FCA had planted. He is the gardener, and He cultivates the growth. The Good News of Jesus and His work on the cross began to take root in my heart.
I attended a college athlete winter retreat in North Dakota this same year. I met the man who would eventually become my husband and the reason for my move to North Dakota after graduation. Would you have guessed that God aligned it so there was an open FCA Area Rep position at NDSU and that they were specifically looking to hire a female staff member? Only God! I still occupy this position 4 years later and am thrilled at how many doors God has opened for me to share the love of Christ with athletes and coaches alike! He knew all along where He wanted me.
The Lord patiently led me to Himself, putting people and the ministry of FCA in my life to water the seeds of truth. He extended grace, mercy, and forgiveness to me and I am honored that He chose me to share the hope that I have found in Him to impact the athletes and coaches at NDSU through FCA. Praise God!
